Tribal Princess
by Hawki
Summary: Oneshot: The tawtute had many strange customs. This whole "Disney princess" thing was one of them.


**Tribal Princess**

The tawtute spoke many languages, but the most common of them, and the one she had learnt, was called "English." In this language there was a word called "moron," which loosely translated as "skxawng."

Right now, Neytiri was feeling like a "moron."

"Come on," said the tawtute below her. "You've got to like at least _one_ of these dresses."

"Why?"

"Because…" The tawtute paused. "Because it's just how things are done. Even Pocahontas wears a dress. A simple, not too flashy dress, but still a dress. Still clothing."

Pocahontas. Neytiri liked her – they had many similarities after all. The tawtute before her? Not so much.

"You can even wear a native dress," the tawtute said. She paused. "You _do_ have dresses, right?"

"Not really. And I do not believe they come in my size."

"They…" The tawtute blushed, matching her red hair, looking upward as she did so. "Yeah. You're probably right."

Well, that was a relief, Neytiri reflected. She'd accepted that she was now a "Disney princess," whatever that meant. She accepted that her position as former princess (a loose definition, admittedly) of the Omaticaya gave her the position. She'd long since stopped asking as to why there was no such thing as a "Disney queen." But she failed to see why a dress had to be chosen for the role.

And the tawtute that was helping her, the one called Merida, wasn't that forthcoming.

"Hmm…" she said. "Dresses for three metre tall women. Not an easy thing."

"Do you like wearing dresses?" Neytiri asked.

"No."

"But-"

"But they gave me a new bow, and it's part of the contract," she continued. She muttered something under her breath – something about a mouse and a hopping flashlight.

 _A bow,_ Neytiri reflected. The tawtute had once used bows. They'd since traded them in for strange devices called "guns." All the princesses seemed to harken from earlier tawtute history, but so far Merida was the only one who wielded a weapon. Though granted, the one called Elsa wouldn't need to be armed anytime soon.

"What about the others?" Neytiri asked.

"Pardon?" Merida was still sorting through the dresses. The wardrobe was large – so large that some said there was a lion on the other side prowling a lamp post.

"The others," Neytiri reflected. "I understand there's a princess from Atlantis, and another one from Thebes. And another one who was involved with a black cauldron. And-"

"Yeah, well, not everyone can be a Disney princess," Merida said. She let out a squeal.

"So what's the criteria?" Neytiri asked. "How did you become a Disney princess?"

"Because I was in a successful movie." Merida emerged from the closet, bearing out a dress made out of leaves, twigs, and bird feathers. "So were you. One of the highest grossing movies of all time actually. Why else do you think Avatar Land became part of Disney World?"

Neytiri shrugged – a motion tawtute did when they wish to say "I have no idea."

"Here," Merida said. "It's got some bird droppings in it-"

"Bird droppings?!"

"Yeah, Snow White likes singing to birds, but she never thinks about the crap they leave behind." Merida grinned. "But no biggie."

No biggie. 'English' was a strange language indeed. But Neytiri nonetheless obliged.

"You should be flattered you know," Merida continued. She sat down on a sofa and drew out an arrow and a knife, using the latter to sharpen the former. "In the old days, being a princess was easy."

"Indeed?"

"Oh yeah. Fall asleep and wait for a prince to bail you out." She snorted. "Snow White, Aurora, Cinderella. All they had to do was sleep, or go to a ball, or sleep even longer. They'll never know how easy they got it."

Neytiri remained silent. She'd wear the dress. She'd get this over with. And she'd keep telling herself that she wasn't actually enjoying the fabric on her skin.

"Now, Anna, Elsa, myself," Merida continued. "We actually have to work for princess status. We're real girls."

"Real girls? What does that mean?"

"I dunno. I just show up, smile, then I go horse riding on Angus."

Horses. Another tawtute creature. Jake had compared them to palalukans or ikrans. Without the bond, but with the same results.

But that could wait. Now, she was dressed. Now, she was, apparently, a Disney princess.

"Well?" Neytiri asked. "How do I look?"

Merida shrugged. "Beats me. Fine I guess."

"Fine?"

"Yeah, fine. Adequate. Fits the bill. Acceptable." She pocketed the knife and arrowhead. "Hey, don't look at me like that. You're going to get at least two more sequels. Meanwhile, Pixar is making another bloody _Cars_ movie."

"And _The Incredibles_ ," Neytiri offered. "I think Jake likes that."

Merida snorted. "Course he does." She got to her feet. "Well, take it to Daisy or Minnie and see what they think. I'm off horse riding." She began walking off, before calling back. "Oh, and enjoy it while it lasts. Moana's going to be a princess next year, and someone has to get a dress for her as well."

"And will that be you?"

"Me? Nah, course not. That'll be Leia or Rey."

"Who?"

Merida shrugged. "I've hedged my bets. Rey is Leia's daughter, so that makes her a princess."

"I really don't-"

"Toodles!"

And she walked off. Off to the sound of a waiting horse and a soundtrack about touching the sky.

While all Neytiri heard in her mind was one word.

"Skxawng."

* * *

 _A/N_

 _So, since Disney World is getting an Avatar Land, does that make Neytiri a Disney princess? 0_0_


End file.
